However much I like my job as a high school teacher; by the end of last year I was dragging myself towards the Winter Break. It felt like I finally made it to a lifeboat, and I could for once stop swimming to keep my head above the surface.
I know this does not sound healthy and I do not intend to promote stretching one's boundaries so much as I did. It wasn't just the job, but also circumstances, such as the passing of Margo's mother.
However, these two weeks off quickly filled up, because such days are the only ones available for friends, family and responsibilities that aren't work related. This last weekend, I felt rather frightened: soon I have to get back working, full-on, while I felt hardly rested at all. I felt like I was about to get kicked off the lifeboat, not ready for waves and current at all.
Close to where we live, there is a spa that is connected to a swimming paradise. So Margo and me could be in the spa, while the children could play in the leisure pool. Every hour or so we could check on them.
Usually when I'm at a spa, I try to make the most of it: to be in every sauna, to be in every pool and to attend every aufguss... Margo, however, has the habit of doing one or two things and then be on some deckchair for the rest of the day. I had trouble understanding that. I mean, we have comfy chairs at home; why pay a lot just to lie in some chair if you can do that at home for free?
But this time was different. We attended a relaxation aufguss at a treehouse sauna. From where I sat, I could watch out of the window. I could see the remainder of snow on a field melting away through the constant rain. I cherished the warmth inside and felt a longing to sit next to a warm hearth and watch winter having its way with whatever there is present outside.
Later on, I came across lounging areas, those spaces favoured by Margo; places that are tastefully decorated and furnished for comfort. I noticed that they were pretty popular.
And then it struck me: doing nothing is facilitated here, while it is actually rather difficult at home. At home, there's always something that needs doing (or active ignoring) and there are televisions, telephones and computers that access either even more to do or easy dopamine. If I'm being very honest; if I allow myself free time, most of the times, I choose gaming or watching videos over doing nothing or reading a book.
The problem is that our brains do not really rest through such activities. Even playing brainless games like Candy Crush, while lying stretched out on the sofa, doesn't provide rest to the brain. There's science on that.
So yeah, there's no way to bring work into these relaxation rooms and screens are banned.
I can imagine that computers, televisions and notably the ever-close telephones are important contributors to burnouts. Because they prevent us from doing nothing.
So, as I write this, I hereby decide that I will turn off all devices at least one hour before I go to bed, so that I will have at least that time to be truly free!
Also I resolve to create more time for doing nothing. To watch the rain fall down outside while it's comfy and warm inside. To watch my plants in the garden grow during the warm days.
Doing nothing is misunderstood and it has become rare. For most people, every moment of the day has been filled: from waiting for the train to being on the toilet.
Though there is beauty and value in unfilled time. Doing nothing is not lazy. Let's not pretend it's easy. It is important self-care. It should be an appreciated art.
As for myself, just these few hours of doing nothing while at the spa provided me the rest I needed to take on my job again.
If holiday is like a lifeboat, filling it up with activities, however fun or healthy, is like starting to do push-ups and jumping jacks. If you want to catch your breath instead, just make sure you do nothing enough.
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